A Sacred Inner and Outer Journey

I spent many years searching for my purpose in life.  In that search, I realized that my intuition was to be a part of my purpose, but struggled in understanding how.  I looked into many schools, looking at the various programs, trying to find that one that felt like it fit me and what I wanted to do.  I looked into Psychology programs at local colleges, Cosmetology schools, and finally a Massage Therapy program at a local trade school.  Throughout the search, I realized that I wanted to do something in the healing arts, which led me to looking at a school for Massage Therapy.  I figured that would get me in the door to what I really wanted to do (even though I still was unsure of what exactly that was).  After being accepted to yet another school, and yet another program, I still failed to follow through on signing the paperwork. 

Something felt off to me and I couldn’t quite figure out what.  As I drove around, contemplating why I couldn’t get myself to follow through, I had a very upsetting realization – I was allowing a piece of paper to determine my worth.  In my mind, if I had a degree in something, that degree was saying that I was worthy.  Worthy of what, I’m really not sure, but that piece of paper was sure to make that determination.  I cried … Sobbed actually - heaving, messy, ugly sobbing.  After all, I just realized I felt myself to be worthless.  You see, I’d spent many years feeling unworthy of something as simple as love and acknowledgement from my parents, so finding worth had been a struggle in my life that I wasn’t even aware of.   

A whole lot of self-talk-and-listening-to-my-inner-guidance later, I decided that *I* was worthy of whatever I wanted to be worthy of.  No one or no thing was going to determine that.  Nuh-uh, not happening anymore in my world!  Within days of this new feeling of self-empowerment, I stumbled upon a post on Twitter talking about a free scholarship to some online school.  “Oooh, a free scholarship?!,” I thought.  Why not?  What else did I have to lose?  Upon submitting the free scholarship form, I decided I should probably take a look at the school’s website to see what all they had to offer.  I mean after all, if I was going to possibly win a free scholarship, I should know what the heck I was going to use it on! 

I found myself very enthralled with what this school had to offer and enrolled myself without even waiting for a response on the scholarship.  I’d never taken an online class, but how hard could that be?  And two years is going to pass anyway, so I might as well be doing something of use during that time.  After some trepidation on how to balance school with work and personal life, I quickly found my groove.  Not only did I really enjoy what I was learning, I was changing in the process!  I could feel shifts happening within myself that I couldn’t explain.  I’d also met some really great people who made a huge impact in my life.  People I would now call friends, and even got to meet outside of our online learning environment. 

One friend in particular and I joked about taking a road trip to visit this magical land called SWIHA that changed our lives so much.  And while we joked, inside I truly felt that I wanted to make this journey to see this place and hug the people who’ve had such an impact on me.  I was becoming a new person and many, many people were taking part in this.  Saying ‘thank you’ wasn’t enough.  I had to physically experience this place and these people.  I could feel the yearning in my soul. 

One day I realized that I had time set aside for our annual family vacation that we weren’t going to be able to take due to the illness of a family member.  I thought, “Why not try to make this trip a reality?”  I decided that I’d throw it out there to my friend, and if she was game, we would make it happen!  Much to my surprise, she was excited and wanted to really make this journey as much as I did!  Yea!!!  Girl’s road trip was on the way!!!

As the day to leave approached, I found myself feeling anxious, small, and nervous.  I was second guessing if taking this trip was a good idea at all.  I mean, I was going without my husband, who is a complete level of comfort for me.  We were going to be two women, driving across the country together.  Is that even safe?  I even started questioning how well I knew this friend, looking for any reason to back out.  However, she had already flown here from Memphis and was at her hotel, waiting for me to pick her up.  Many deep breaths later (and a pep talk from my husband), I was ready to embark on this journey. 

The first day we drove and talked pretty much the whole 10 hours we were driving!  We were bonding, laughing, and having fun.  This whole thing might not be so bad.  Silly me for my nerves and anxiety.  We stopped for dinner and to find a hotel for the night.  And that’s when everything came crumbling down on me.  I went in the bathroom to take a shower and the second I shut the door, tears started falling.  I didn’t want to spend the night in this hotel, in this strange town, without my husband.  I cried through the shower and opened up to my friend about my sudden onset of insecurities.  She did her best to calm and reassure me and we both went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, I awoke with a terrible stomachache and wasn’t feeling well at all.  Because of this, I didn’t sleep much either. 

When she woke up the next morning, I let her know I was sick all night and hadn’t slept.  She again did all she could to console me, and then I asked to be left alone to do my morning meditation.  She left the room, and again as soon as the door shut, I broke down crying hysterically.  I called my husband, who could barely understand me through my sobbing.  I had no idea what was going on.  I had never felt this insecure, this anxious, this co-dependent.  But, instead of fighting through like I normally would, I allowed it all to flow.  Our second day of driving was much different than the first.  Instead of fun girl chatter, the day was filled with tears, silence, and confusion (for me).  What I realized this day was that by allowing my feelings and tears to flow openly, I was healing what was bothering me.  What a concept, right?! 

By day three, I was feeling much stronger, but still experienced times of weeping.  I now knew that I had to just let it flow.  This was also the day we arrived at our first destination – Sedona.  I’d always wanted to visit because of the amazing stories I’d heard.  We arrived at night, only to find out that our hotel reservations had been cancelled somehow.  I took it in stride, without freaking out in any way.  Who was this person and what did she do with the “normal” me?!  Maybe shedding all of those tears was shedding layers of myself that no longer served me?  Maybe there is a lot of merit to all of the inner work I’ve been doing and the shifts I’ve been feeling?  

The following morning I woke up with excitement, ready to experience the magic of Sedona and for whatever adventures the day would bring.  My friend had been to Sedona twice before, so not only did she have an idea of where things were, she was also kind enough to let me feel out where my energy wanted to go and not try to take control of what we were going to do.  We visited a scenic spot, where we could see all of the magical rocks and she asked me to look all around me and tell her where I felt drawn to.  As I took in the beautiful scenery, I pointed to a spot and off we went. 

My friend stayed a good distance back from me, so that I was solely feeling my own energy and not hers, as I blazed up and over rocks and through trails.  I had no idea where I was headed, but I was on a mission!  As I walked, I found myself led to a little overhang.  Did I mention my extreme fear of heights that doesn’t allow me to walk up a ladder without getting dizzy?!  Yet, here I was standing on the cliff of a mountainous landscape without having a second thought about it.  Again, who is this person?!  As I walked along the cliff, I found a little fairy circle that was created with rocks.  I was both shocked and happy with what I’d just discovered.  I quickly dropped my things and sat in the circle to meditate. 

 

As I sat there, the wind started to gently blow.  With my eyes closed, I was brought to a guided regression I’d done, where I sat under a tree with a gentle breeze.  In this regression I was told, “You can hear the wind.”  The message in that regression was that I could audibly hear words and information in the wind.  In the current moment, on this cliff, I heard it again and knew that there was more for me in this particular place.  So, I gathered up my stuff and started off again.  I took one step and a huge bug flew across my path.  As I took my next step, another huge bug flew the opposite direction across my path.  This continued for several more steps before I said, “OK, I get it … I’m going the right way.” 

After walking for a bit, I felt the nudge to stop.  I looked at the path below, which was very steep.  I can’t get down there!  I won’t be able to get back up from there!  To which my higher-self responded with inspirational quips, “There is no can or cannot.  There is no try.  There is only DO.”  Encouraged by this higher inspiration, I was determined to continue on, but something still wasn’t feeling right about the path below me.  Suddenly, I turned to look at the path above me.  As I turned I heard that higher-self voice chime in again with, “If I led you to it, I’ll lead you through it.”  OK, OK I get it.  I glanced around the path above me a bit more when I saw it – the place that was waiting for me.  There was this perfect little nook created among the rocks, beckoning for me to sit in it.  Upward I went. 

 

The rest of the day was filled with very fun hiking adventures and great discoveries, like a heart-shaped cactus that I found myself sitting next to.  

We missed seeing the sunset, but were surprised with seeing the full moon rise. 

The day was amazing, I had forgotten all about my nerves, anxieties, and codependent feelings and was ready for bed!  The next day we were off to Phoenix, to finally visit SWIHA, the magical land that sparked this whole journey.  Once we arrived and checked into our hotel, we darted right off to the school.  It was everything we expected it to be – tranquil, serene, welcoming.  We would spend the next four days meeting and spending time with all of the people we’d connected with online and experiencing amazing synchronicities that will forever remain in our hearts.  I personally experienced healing on a level that I had not experienced as of yet.  The protective shield that covered my heart had been broken open through these people and connections. 

It was as if physically visiting this land was the final piece of my healing puzzle.  I cried more in a week’s time than I’ve cried this whole year.  Every vulnerable part of me was exposed and that felt OK.  I felt safe.  I felt surrounded by love.  I felt healed.  And as if my own healing wasn’t enough, I got to participate in a healing forgiveness ceremony in a professional capacity.  I had truly come full-circle in that moment, in being able to facilitate healing for others.  Maybe this place really was magical after all? 

As much as I enjoyed every tear-filled minute of my time here, it was time to start our adventure back home.  We had stops and more fun along the way, but a lot of our time was spent in contemplation of all we’d just experienced.  Magic truly did happen for me during this time-frame.  I fully integrated all aspects of myself into one.  I became a whole person and was no longer fragmented.  And now I was able to return home whole, renewed, refreshed, and ready to share myself with the world.          

        

A Spiritual Journey

In May 2012, I took the first step of a journey that has since changed my life.  I enrolled in the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts.  At the time I enrolled, I got to choose a major and minor for the Associate Degree of Occupational Studies in Transformational Psychology.  (I think the set-up for the programs may have changed a little, but I'm not fully sure on that)  Out of the 4 choices - Hypnotherapy, Urban Farming, Spiritual Studies, Holistic Nutrition - I chose a major of Hypnotherapy and a minor of Spiritual Studies. 

I was so excited to get my class schedule and be in school again.  Yeah, I'm one of those odd people that actually like school.  My 4.0 GPA in an online program is a clear sign of that.  

First up on the list:
1. Prayer Therapy
2. Toe Reading - Reflexology Assessment I - Elemental
3. Hypnotherapy - Foundations Level I


Interesting.  I got to start Hypnotherapy right away (Yea!), Toe Reading sounded interesting, and Prayer Therapy ... well, what in the world is that anyway?! 

I definitely felt overwhelmed in those first few days.  Do I do a little in each class?  Do I complete one week's classwork and then move onto another class?  I found myself asking friends for advice on how to manage the work load.  Prayer Therapy was last on my priority list.  I mean, I still had no idea what it was and the other two classes sounded far more interesting anyway.  By first day of week 2, all of that changed. 

My instructor for this crazy Prayer Therapy class was a woman named Kathy.  There was something in the way she communicated with us, as a class.  She was so gentle, supporting, and caring.  She showed no judgment toward anyone's questions or uncertainties of religion and spirituality.  She truly honored and supported each of us on our different paths.  What stands out in my mind is a suggestion she made to me during class.  We were working with different forms of prayer and I practiced the use of mudras.  I had a very strong experience of energy in my hands with the mudras.  Kathy made the simple suggestion of me looking into learning energy healing work since my experience was so strong.  That moment is forever etched in my mind as I felt like she noticed something in me. 

It is a common flaw of mine to seek outside validation or recognition.  (Don't judge)  In that moment, I felt recognized and between Kathy's supportive demeanor and my connection to the once-crazy-class called Prayer Therapy, I noticed a subtle shift taking place.  (By the way, Prayer Therapy is just as it sounds - using different forms of prayer for therapeutic purposes)

By July, I had finished Prayer Therapy, Toe Reading, Hypnotherapy, and Public Speaking and had moved onto Comparative Religion, Life Coaching - Foundation, and Hypnotherapy Level II.  I had also realized the shift was not-so-subtle anymore and I needed to listen to the nudge my intuition was giving me.   I looked over the class lists (over and over again), and I felt much more drawn to the entire class list of Spiritual Studies than I did Hypnotherapy.  I needed to change my major and minor.  I had no idea what this change would hold for me and even half-way through the program I still found myself questioning what exactly I would do with a major in Spiritual Studies.  But underneath all of the questioning was that unwavering intuitive knowing that this change was right for me.  

Toward the end of the Spiritual Studies classes, I finally got it.  These classes were not so much for my "future" (although they DO play a huge role), but they were for my formation and evolution as a soul.  These classes helped shape who I am in this present moment.  They helped create an understanding and awareness of beliefs I've held and filled in missing pieces of my Spiritual and Religious puzzle.  (I use the term 'religious' loosely)  More than anything, these classes provided me the safety to speak my own truth and allowed me to find comfort in my beliefs not lining up with what I'd been taught growing up.  I felt validated in feeling that some of the things I was 'told' as a child didn't add up.  Most importantly, I felt strongly connected to a faith that fit my life.  And the best part of it all?  Kathy was a huge part of the Spiritual Studies classes and I got to share my journey and transformation with her, the one who sparked it all.  

Once the Spiritual Studies part of the program was over in July of 2013, the questions loomed - What now?  Do I seek ordination?  What would I do as an ordained minister anyway?  I was in the first group of students to take this as a major online, so the school didn't have anything in place just yet.  I received notification that a final class leading to ordination would begin in September, if I was interested.  I thought, Well...I've come this far.  Why stop now?  I had a few months to fulfill the requirements of volunteer time, writing a 1200-word minimum bio-sketch of my journey into ordination, and getting all of my application paperwork submitted.  Naturally, I used up ALL of the time I was given to get all of that done.  And we had a date - January 26, 2014 - an online ordination ceremony would take place for us.  The week of I received everything I needed - my sash, candle, a container of blessed water, and an envelope reading, "Do not open until after ceremony."  (Do they not know how hard it is to NOT open something that says "Do not open"?!)    


Before I knew it, the weekend was upon me and I found myself ceremoniously cleaning my house the day before.  I was quietly contemplating so many things, and taking every step with thought and care.  It gave me the similar feeling leading up to a wedding ceremony.  That time spent in quiet and excitement about what was to come, carefully doing every task leading up to the event ... very ritualistic and ceremonious.  Since the ceremony was taking place online, we were asked to have a sacred witness present.  Naturally, I asked my husband first, but he said he wasn't fully comfortable.  So, I asked a good friend of mine, who happily accepted.  However, the Universe had different plans in mind and gave us a nice 4-5 inches of snow, preventing my friend from making it to our home.  My husband now had to serve as my sacred witness.  We had no choice.  (I love that what is meant to happen always will!)  

Although it wouldn't be seen in the ceremony, I felt the urge to create an altar.  I placed a black cloth over a table, and draped a colorful scarf my husband got me down the middle.  I grabbed a silver candle from my bookshelf, placed it on a black candle holder, and poured sand from Myrtle Beach around it to create a grounding feeling.  I carefully set my candle, blessed water, envelope, sash, and some crystals on the altar.  It looked and felt beautiful. 

I went into my bedroom to get dressed and heard a loud crash.  I asked my husband if everything was all right, and he opened the bathroom door telling me that noise wasn't from him.  I quickly turned my attention to the living room, to see my altar gone.  My cat, Osiris, decided to check out the scenery and I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it didn't look good.  My husband and I were in a hurry to get everything back up and together when I realized that the cork had come off the little jar of blessed water and spilled all over the carpet.  Osiris must have figured the front room needed a blessing, because it sure got one!  I wanted to cry, but all I could do was laugh.  I felt like that was a sign that I was taking things a bit too seriously at the moment and I needed to lighten up a bit.  And luckily, there was a tiny bit of blessed water left in the jar for the ceremony.  (Whew!)  

The ceremony itself was beautiful.  I was happy to connect with people that have shared this journey with me.  This process is very involved and you can't help but get to know the people along the way.  One of the girls has become a dear friend to me, and has played a very instrumental role in my comfort throughout this process.  She has been a continuous source of encouragement, laughter, and tears and I love her like a member of my family.  She is the big sister I've always wanted and I'm so happy she's been placed in my life.  

So, what now?  Well, first let me introduce myself - I am Reverend Virginia Blank, an Interfaith Minister, and I am ready to walk my talk and share my light with the world.  My hope is to inspire others through Spiritual Guidance, Mentoring, and Coaching and to share the message of acceptance and comfort in blazing your own Spiritual trail of beliefs that fit into your life.  And so it is.                 

Living Life According to the Universe

The universe works in a very structured, yet giving, manner.  There are rules and laws that govern the universe and our lives and the more we live in accordance to those laws, the more harmonious our lives are, the more in touch we are with our true selves.  For about ten years or so, I’ve naturally been living my life according to Universal laws and my life has been drastically different since. 

It’s like a natural system of checks and balances.  Where our minds go, our energy follows.  So, if we think about and harbor on negative aspects of life then that is what we find ourselves surrounded by.  If we wish harm on others, we find ourselves in harm’s way quite often.  If we want something, we must act upon it – in both thought and physicality.  Everything always comes full circle – what goes around comes around, so if you ‘go around’ in a positive fashion, that positivity also ‘comes around’ your life.  Everything in the world must have balance, what goes up must also come down.  There is a rhythm to the universe and as long as we are living in accordance to that rhythm, we ourselves, our lives are also in rhythm.  To me, it truly is the simplest thing in the world, yet so many people are not dialed into this concept and awareness. 

We are the only ones who can control what we think, how we act, and how we react.  Keeping our thoughts focused on the things we want, instead of the things we do not want heightens our ability to manifest things in our lives. 

Actively appreciating what we DO have instead of what we do not have keeps our lives in perspective.  Being aware of the things we have that others do not, helps us to keep it relative.  This can be our mental health, our physical health, our spiritual connection, our physical surroundings, our physical assets, our zest for life, etc. 

Understanding that we create our realities, through our thoughts, words, and actions helps us to not become victims of our lives and helps us to hold ourselves responsible for what we do, think, and say. 

Knowing that we must have balance in life, being able to take the good with the bad, understanding that the sun sets and the moon rises, that tides go in and out, that people are good and people are bad.  It IS what we choose to focus on, so why not focus on the good?  Even if we experience a down time or a “bad” situation, we will get through it – we always do.  Everything is happening as it is meant to and we are never given more than we can handle. 

Having an awareness that our thoughts are like silent wishes, so should we ‘think’ about wanting a new house, we have planted that seed, as a wish to grow in our world.  The more we feed energy to that thought (wish) the more of a reality it becomes.  It may not happen overnight, but it will happen – again, when it is meant to. 

While Universal laws seem to focus on the mental reality of our thoughts shaping our worlds, there is a strong spiritual connection.  We must connect to and understand the Universe at large and Divine timing.  We must be fully aware of our physical beings, as homes for our souls and treat our physical bodies as such.  Taking care of and tending to our needs, wants, and desires.  We must recognize this in others as well.  If we, as a “world” recognized each other on a soul level, can you imagine how different the world would be?  We wouldn’t have the jealousy, the envy, the competition, the greed … we would see so much more love, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding.  I’d much rather live in the positive aspects of the world.  Wouldn't you?   

 

 

 

To a mind that is still ...

"To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."  - Lao Tzu

Can you even fathom this?  I mean really, sit and realize the reality of this quote ...  The whole universe! 

For those that may think this isn't possible, try it, I dare you.  Sit in quiet contemplation.  Meditate.  Quiet your mind.  What you will come to realize is that during those quiet, meditative moments, nothing is going on around you.  Nothing.  Do you know why?  Because you have quieted your mind and the universe has surrendered itself.  For those moments of serenity, everything stops.  Even the seasoned meditators may be getting hit with this realization ... I know I am. 

I never really stopped and thought, or realized that ... holy crap, the universe does surrender to my quiet mind.  When I'm meditating, I know of nothing that is going on around me.  I am lost in my special place, or my guided imagery, or my free flowing subconscious.  There are no ringing phones, no email alerts, no loud traffic passing by, no hyper pets ... nothing.  Naturally, any of those things may be occurring at the moments that my mind is still, but I wouldn't know because I am lost in my stillness. 

If you've never meditated and would love to experience this awesome 'stillness' ... let me offer you a tip.  I tend to be more of a left-brained person, so it was initially hard for me to quiet my mind and this is what worked for me. 

Get into a comfortable position, with your arms and legs not crossed in any fashion.  Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, and count to six.  Hold that breath in and count to six.  Exhale through your mouth and count to six.  Then count to six before taking your next breath in.  Continue to repeat these steps and before you know it, you are meditating and the universe is surrendering itself to your quiet mind.  In the beginning, this process may take several repetitions before you fall into a meditative state, but after some practice it gets easier and easier.  Your mind is so focused on your breathing and counting that it forgets about 'everything else' going on in your life and is able to naturally quiet itself through this method. 

On Monday, August 6th, Shannon and I will be talking about Hypnotherapy and Meditation during our radio show, providing more information, insight, and tips.