Growing Pains

We all experience pain as we grow.  As children, this pain shows up as physical pain, usually in our limbs.  But, what about the growing pains we experience as adults?  The less talked about emotional pains? 

For me, this shows up as an energetic slap-in-the-face by those I thought I was close to (friends, family), who are flat out unsupportive of my growth.  (Please don't mistake that as me wanting recognition or my ego stroked, because that is soooo not my style)  I'm sure many people can empathize with me on this.  Think about the times when you've had something exciting happen for, or to, you.  You, naturally, want to share that news with family and friends.  I mean, you do need someone to share in the excitement with, right?!  And how did it feel when one of those friends or family members didn't exactly share in the excitement the way you'd hoped?  Not too good, right?  

I'll share a story ... 

When Shannon and I were doing our radio show, we naturally shared the link to the show each week on Facebook and Twitter.  We got the word out ourselves, and it was nice when some of our friends and family shared the links for the show on their pages as well.  It wasn't so nice when friends and family consistently shared links for other friends' radio shows, but not ours ... ever.  Again, it's not that either one of us "needed" anyone to help us get the word out (we both have pretty big mouths), but we both had to take a step back and acknowledge the hurt feelings we experienced, brought on by the fact that people we thought were our "friends" took time to share and brag about other people they knew airing radio shows, but never us.  Thank goodness we are both fairly self-aware so that we were able to quickly recognize that the anger we (or maybe just me) initially felt about this was really hurt feelings in realizing that maybe someone wasn't as good of a friend as we thought.  

Fast forward to now and I have exciting and fun news to share, so I naturally shared on my Facebook page.  I mean, it is pretty exciting when you have an article published in an international publication, especially since I never really expected it to happen when I submitted the article.  It's even more exciting when my school features me in their blog, because of this!  But, it is also hurtful when the same friends and family members who blatantly didn't support me in other endeavors, continue in their unsupportiveness.  Did I expect anything different?  No, not necessarily.  I know that when I expect things of people, I open the doors for disappointment, so I like to leave that expectation at the door.  But, it is still nice to know that your friends and family have your back and are happy for you/proud of you/cheering you on.  

So, what do you do when you feel this lack of support, whether energetically, physically, or emotionally?  You put your big girl pants on and get over it!  Acknowledge the hurt feelings and then move on.  I was warned a few years ago about the reaction (or lack thereof), I would receive from others when I started to grow.  I was told that I have people around me that would simply not be happy for me and to not take it personally.  Thank goodness for that nice tidbit, because it helped me realize some very important things.  My growth and the lack of support coming from certain friends and family members actually has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.  If someone isn't happy for you, it is up to them to figure out why they are happy for you.  It's up to you to keep on keeping on and stay in your happy place, where you do your best work. 

It is unfortunate and disheartening to find out that people aren't there for you (typically this happens when you are down and out, and also happens on the flip side), but how else would you know that perhaps you are no longer in alignment with certain people in your life?  It's times like these that you truly find out who is there for you and who isn't; Who really supports your success or sympathizes with your demise. 

And these are the growing pains of our lives.