Sedona ... You Always Come Through

When I was presented with an opportunity to visit Sedona after having just been there 6 months ago, I couldn't pass it up.  I took the opportunity as a sign from the Universe in accepting and allowing. 

My first experience with Sedona was very deep and meaningful.  Around the time that I went, I was involved in a business venture that was becoming too heavy and twisted for me.  In my gut I knew it was time to walk away, but I struggled with that knowing because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  The magic of Sedona allowed for a natural and easy departure from that venture.  This time around was no different...

A big difference this time around was the company I was with.  In my first visit to Sedona, it definitely helped to be with a healer who has similar ethics to my own.  In my healing work, I feel it is very important to allow the person experiencing healing and transformation the necessary space to do so.  It's important to accept everyone for where they are at on their journey and not try to project my experiences, feeling, or expectations onto them.  As a healer, I must always remain neutral and not pass judgment, even if I don't agree with the other person is saying or doing.   

I also realized something while writing this blog - that I am still in the energy of not wanting to hurt anyone else's feelings.  I truly live by the number one ethic of "Do no harm," but that shouldn't be at the detriment of myself.  There IS a way to speak my truth, without any intention of hurting someone else.  I don't have to get involved in a mud-slinging contest (and I won't). 

You see, Sedona has this amazing ability to provide space for growth, transition, healing and release (a LOT of release through tears).  I find it no coincidence that both times I visited this year were during a full moon AND eclipse!  (I don't believe in coincidence anyway)  I learned many lessons during this second trip and I'm extremely grateful for every one of them. 

I learned that I'm stronger than I ever realized. 
I've always thought of  myself as a strong person, but the strength I found came on a whole new level.  This strength was energetic, physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional.  I truly feel that I can do anything now, without fear.  I removed myself from a situation that was unhealthy for me, even though the circumstances weren't ideal.  You see, it was 11:30 at night in Roswell, NM (5 states away from my home state of Illinois), when I made this decision.  This meant me finding a hotel room, finding a rental car, and driving myself home over the next 2 days.  In the past I may have crumbled, unsure of how to proceed.  However, this time around, I was confident and strong in knowing that everything was happening exactly as it was meant to (and I was beyond delighted when everything magically fell into place). 

I learned to fully honor myself. 
Again, honoring myself is something I thought I was good at doing.  And again, the Universe magically continues to present me with opportunities to see where I am lacking in this department.  When something isn't feeling right, I start to distance myself while trying to figure out the best exit strategy that doesn't hurt other people's feelings.  What I forget in that process is that I'm hurting myself while sticking around, trying to 'figure it all out'.  Again, the first rule in healing is "Do no harm" and that should always include "to yourself" as well.  Could I have continued on the originally planned journey home?  Sure.  But, a close friend very accurately described the situation as "soul sucking" and even looking back, it feels heavy to have stayed on course.  My soul and energy feels much freer having made the decision to honor what I knew to be right.   

Courage, Confidence, Trust, Faith. 
Shortly before leaving for this trip, I had a very deep and life-changing past-life regression.  During this regression, I had angels impressing the above four words into every part of my being, as if to deeply instill these virtues into me.  It was during my drive home that I realized how much these words came into play in my life.  I had the courage to walk away from a situation that wasn't serving my highest purpose.  I had the confidence to know that I could do anything by myself.  I trusted that everything was happening exactly as it was meant to.  And I had the faith that I would be Divinely guided the entire way. 

I learned how much I've matured. 
Those that really know me, know that I have a temper.  A hot temper with a short fuse.  Not my proudest trait, but I own it.  For me, maturity is learning from past mistakes and that includes handling things in a better fashion (read: not letting my temper take over).  In the past, if I felt attacked, accused, or judged wrongly I would be quick to react from an angry place.  It was so refreshing to know that I can just as easily let things roll right off of my back.  Because, the truth of the matter is - I was attacked, accused, and judged wrongly (I have the text messages and voice recordings that show this - which is also a sign of maturity for me, because I didn't share them with the world), yet I didn't let it affect me because I know the truth about myself and the incorrect opinions of others hold no bearing in my life.  

I learned that I am much better at handling change. 
Change is usually a word that gives me immediate anxiety.  But, here I sit thinking about the word, typing it out, and it doesn't invoke a heavy, negative feeling within.  Who saw that coming?!?!  (I sure didn't!)  Sedona brought out a huge change, both outside of myself and deep within myself and I handled it all gracefully and with ease.  (Affirmations really do work people!  I've been using affirmations for months now to help me better deal with change.) 

I was reminded of who my true friends are. 
I can't say this was a lesson learned, because this was something that I already knew.  But, it was so touching to be reminded of who truly does love and care about me.  People get busy and schedules conflict, but at the end of the day I have some amazingly supportive souls in my life.  I know I've expressed it many times over the past few days, but I truly hope these people know how much I appreciate and love them!

I learned that old wounds CAN be healed. 
It's no secret that my mom and I have had a rocky relationship.  I've gone through a lot of transformation over the past two years, and one of the most valuable nuggets of insight I've received is that everyone does the best they can with the awareness that they have.  I've also learned that instead of harboring resentment toward my mom for not being who I felt she should be, I could thank her for loving me inadequately (HUGE thanks to KC Miller for that!).  Had she been MY idea of who she should be, I would not have experienced the necessary life lessons that I needed to become who I am today.    Because I had time to myself, I was able to have a very healing conversation with my mom regarding all of this. 

I learned it's OK to be vulnerable. 
This is a lesson that's been gnawing at me for some time now.  Expressing my emotions hasn't always been easy for me, especially if they are tender emotions.  In the past, I've felt that I had to be in a 'safe' environment to open up and be vulnerable - meaning that I had to trust the people around me to be gentle with my tender side.  And even when that gentleness wasn't shown, I still expressed my tender emotions without shame or fear.  I feel it's important to allow others the necessary space to work through and process their emotions.  It was time I provided myself the same privilege.  If someone else is uncomfortable with my tears (or any other tender emotion I display), that is their issue not mine.   

At the end of the day, loving and honoring myself are more important than not doing so.  I've visited Sedona twice and both times I've emerged a stronger, more loving, more confident, and happier version of myself.  I've also been able to easily release what isn't serving my highest purpose.  Thank you Sedona, for not disappointing.